Bittersweet

As I drove home tonight, I felt hollow and on the verge of tears. It was a great evening, and yet it made me sad.

***

I started today as I do many Saturdays: I slept in late. I got up around noon, showered and headed out for errands and a trip to my favorite Saturday haunt, the yarn store. After a stop at Goodwill (where I unloaded 7 bags of crap – and my place looks no better!), I headed over to the yarn store for some knitting therapy. I stayed there until five-thirty or so when I started the carpool to Burbank.

“It’s my party and I’ll drive if I want to.”

I picked up Knitmeister S and one of my other workmates, and we headed out to my friends Mr. & Mrs. B, who were throwing me a going away party – game night. The food was amazing as usual and the party was that much more festive when Mr. and Mrs. B announced they’re expecting! We played games, laughed harder than I’ve laughed in a while and had a great time. And all the while I couldn’t help but think that I won’t see all these people in the same place again (except perhaps at my wedding). It was just such a hollow feeling, having fun and yet knowing that I’m leaving.

I am so excited to begin my life with Wes. I am even looking forward to exploring a new city, find a job about which I’m passionate, and finding new knitting stores to haunt. And yet it is so bittersweet to have to say goodbye to all my friends and favorite haunts here. In my heart I know I will find friends and places to hang out, but it’s almost as if I’m breaking up with my life here – I just don’t want to think that there are more fish in the sea, I want these fish to stay.

And so tonight, while a blast, was bittersweet.


Of course, all this celebrating isn’t doing a thing for my no soda and dessert diet either.

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