Dear Zit-of-the-Month Club:
I am writing to express my dismay at still being subscribed to your club despite repeated attempts (as well as cease and desist letters from my lawyer) at removing myself from your subscriber base. This month, however, you have truly outdone yourself. I not only have your standard ONE zit of the month, but currently I am nursing THREE. I demand that you stop this very instant or I will be forced to order several metric tons of Oxy and ship them directly to you.
Fluffy von Bitchcake
P.S. Special thanks to Teri for inspiration.